I just read somewhere that Chef Wan's son is getting hitch. But that is not what I want to blog about. Apparently, his son is getting married to someone who was married before, a divorcee. But I like the way Chef Wan (the father of the groom) commented on the issue. He said other people has no right to judge his son's girlfriend just because she had a failed marriage before. He is more interested in her inner beauty rather than her divorcee status and that his son's happiness is what matters most. Not all fathers or parents are as open minded as Chef Wan.
Our society, in general (not all of course) has a stigma about divorcee. They jump when they know that their kids are marrying one. It is as if being a divorcee you need to change the color of your IC or something like that, because you are now in a different group of people - the people who experienced failure in marriage. When there is a marriage wreck, and the third person happens to be a divorcee, some people are going to harp on the fact that the person causing the marriage trouble is that divorcee. I personally feel that is unfair. I personally feel that judging a divorcee without knowing what the real issues are.... is mean, unacceptable, shallow, unwise and judgmental.
I come from a divorced family. My parents divorced and that automatically made my mother a divorcee. Some of my aunts are divorced. Some of my friends are divorced after less than 10 years of marriage. They too are divorcee. They just happened to have failed marriages, that's all. Marriages could fail, under extreme circumstances. I know no one wants a marriage failure, but it could fail. Just accept that possibility.
So, what is it about being a divorcee to have a stigma about? What is it about being a divorcee to even question about? Unless we are insecure. Are we? I'm not. Because I know if one day my marriage fails, I will be one too. No exception.
Signing off - nmn
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