My dear husband.... well let me give some (selected) brief introduction about this man I marry. He is very very very opinionated. He can debate with me, or anyone about anything and everything that he feels strongly about. He has a lot of angst in him. He is super choosy about food (a total opposite of me), he is open minded, very westernized, has a mind of his own, hates my cooking (though he never really admits it, but he hardly eats it too), cannot stand the house being messy (so he drags me into doing spring cleaning every week) and loves criticizing the government (for all the reasons he can think of). In a nutshell, he can be quite a tenuk sometimes, but I love him. I love him to bits because we complement and compliment each other. Plus, he's a super dad to my son and he helps out with the house work and will never let me do things on my own. We are quite an opposite character - but for some crazy reasons, we could still sleep in one bed without killing one another. Ok that's not all I want to blog about. Lets continue from where I first started.
A few days ago, my husband confidently told me THIS during one of our normal conversations - How a wife takes care of her husband is by taking care of his tummy (as in what he eats/ from her cooking). I almost choked. I mean hearing that from my husband who is a strong believer of gender equality, not very Malay at heart and who is against infidelity (like yeah right), is like.... hearing it from another person. I was like... " Who the heck are you? Where is my husband? Why are you saying all this stuff that I never heard you said?"
But then it got me thinking? Is it true? I mean - is it true that cooking for your spouse plays an important role in marriage? I pack food from the office cafeteria almost everyday. I hardly cook. Even if I do, it tastes weird and amateurish. I have been married more than 6 years and cooking is not one of those in my priority list because I'm not good at it, and I know that he knew this since we were courting. So I know for a fact that he did not marry me for my cooking skills.
I know some friends who cook for their family everyday. It's like their daily routine. And I know some friends whom their husbands expect to eat home-cooked food, so they go home after work, and cook. I reckon it is in a way a good practice. It's not that if you cook, it would make you less classy or less hip or anything like that. I think a career woman, who takes an effort to cook for dinner or lunch is extraordinary. And if what my husband was saying is indeed true, I guess the wives (who cook for their hubbies) are doing an excellent effort for the happiness of their marriage and family. I do not want to dwell on other possibilities and situations which may still arise even if the wives cook kambing panggang, or nasi bukhara or what ever. That would need to be under a different topic. But for me, whatever the wives do, either they cook, or they sew, or they clean or go to work for that matter, I am sure all that are meant for the happiness of their families. No doubt about that.
The person we marry have great gifts as well as great flaws... and we marry them for that. I marry my husband for the gifts that he has in him and I am accepting his flaws in the process. And I know he too is accepting me the same way I do about him.
Signing off - nmn
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