2011 - Adios

2011 will end soon. For most of us, myself included, this year has been challenging, dramatic and full of roller coaster rides. But 2011 has also been a colourful year for me. So net-net, it was not too bad. Actually, not bad at all.

The events that we had gone through at the office has strengthen the friendships more than anyone could have imagined. We managed each other's frustrations. We hanged on to each other through challenging times. We went through rough days together. We laughed at each other's common jokes. We survived and we've grown into a stronger team in the process. And I am not complaining. Oh yes, not everything was sweet and pretty. There were ugly scenes in between, but hey...didn't I say it was colourful? We had people leaving the team, it was sad but we are happy for whichever path they chose. We had people joining the team and we welcomed them with our usual welcoming gestures and instantly  make them feel as part of our little family. This team is no doubt, the dream team.

As a person, I know I have made mistakes along the way and sometimes hurt the people I love most in my life. And there were times when I was too proud to admit them. I am far from perfect and I am sorry. As a human being, there were times when I closed one eye on other people's difficulty to satisfy my own wants and need. I was selfish and I am sorry.  Many times which I overspent thinking that I couldn't live without the stuff when I know many people around me are so unfortunate, they could use my money to eat. I was stupid, and I am terribly sorry.

I am not expecting 2012 to be a complete opposite of what I had gone through in 2011, but I hope 2012 will be lovely - make me a better mom to my son who listens to every words he is trying to tell me, a better wife to my husband who doesn't only hug and kiss him but also listens to everything that he has to say when he needs a support system, a better friend who makes time for her girlfriends and listens to their stories and most importantly, a better person with a better heart than before.

But in the mean time, I have 3 weeks before 2012 starts. I have deadline chasing me from all directions and I have an annual dinner to attend. So, before the year 2011 really ends, I shall have my fun like I always do, love the people around me and enjoy the rest of my roller coaster rides.

Signing off - nmn

Life goes on, but your past can sometimes says Hello

Have you ever encountered someone, who resembles a person that came into your past life, and reminds you so much of all the good times you had together? And you just can't stop looking at that person because it brings back so much sweet memories and some small naughty thought of you is hoping that that person is really him.

It's a weird feeling but it is also heartbreaking. But I'm guessing that is just a phase. And those people that came temporarily into your life just make life more colourful. People who are permanently part of you life now who matters most.

Ah well.... I can never turn back the past and unscrew what I have screwed before. It's probably going to make things more complicated that it was back then.

Signing off - nmn

My husband - my lifetime support system

My other half never fail to please me just because he thinks I am overloaded with a lot of things on my shoulder. Maybe because I complain so much about work, about how tiring it is to keep on cleaning all the mess around the house. He never fails to give me that bear hugs, just to let  me know that he's there always. That's my husband. Never romantic, but always there when I'm down and low (including low on cash).

Yesterday, I took my son to watch Happy Feet Two and he decided to stay home. We came back, and the house was clean. He vacuumed, he mopped, he did the dusting, cleaned the fan, the air-conditioner, washed the toilets, cleaned the kitchen and settled the laundry. He even changed all the bed sheets and quilt covers in all the rooms. The house totally smelled like lavender. How cool is that.

Thank you. Thanks for putting up with me all these years. I know sometimes I complain too much. And I get into mood swings like yo-yo. I ask you to buy me stuff that I don't really need. And you always pick up the shit that I leave every now and then, like paying for my credit card bills when I overspent on unnecessary stuff (like that 200 bucks body scrub which you claimed smells like serai). But you are my support system. I cannot function without you. When I come back from work feeling like murdering someone, I know I have you to babble about it at, and you always listen even though you too at that time felt like murdering someone at the office.You will never go out  for your boys night out without first making sure everything at home is done and under controlled. And you will never leave home without first giving us a kiss. I love you to bits and I know you love me a lot more.

Signing off - nmn

20.11.2011

Today is the 20.11.2011. Last week was the 11.11.2011. So what's next? Not that I care so much since past few weeks, be it the 11.11 or 20.11 has been nothing but.....a...a.... a roller coaster. 

There're so much that I wanted to blog about past few weeks. Just wasn't sure if I should blog my heart out when I was still upset. Worried that I would be driven by emotion and post something that are pulled out out of anger instead of being rational.

I guess that's what stopping me every time I feel like lashing out at someone - I sit down, digest, and do the weighing (cost-benefit analysis) before doing something, and as a result, always end up forgiving and hoping that things are going to be better.

If I were  23, I know it would be the opposite. But I am no longer 23, so I guess maturity plays an important role in how we handle things. 

Signing off for now - nmn

Salam Aidil-Adha

6 Nov 2011 which is also the 6 Dzul-Hijah in the Islam calender, the Muslims will be celebrating our second 'hari-raya' - The Hari Raya Aidil-Adha or Hari Raya Korban. Hari Raya Korban is to commemorate the willingness of Nabi Ibrahim to sacrifice his son Nabi Ismail as an act of obedience to the Almighty before Allah intervened to provide him with a ram to sacrifice instead. So the practice of korban continues by the muslims worldwide to remember this event. This is when people take the opportunity to give to the needy in the form of korban meats. I was reminded of this event by my mother year in year out when I was a kid, so I remember this.

The office is also organising korban among the muslim staff and I have, for 2 consecutive years participate in the korban organised by the office. Hafiz, another office mate, for 2 consecutive years has been the one appointed to take charge of the collections and he gets busy one month before hari raya getting people's money in order for the korban. And apparently this year the office has chosen Thailand and Cambodia to distribute the korban meats.

It does not matter where and to whom the meats are distributed to, the most important is the act of goodwill shown by the staff who always remember of people who are in need apart from the need of themselves. The more cows and sheeps are being 'korbaned', the more needy people will be enjoying the meats. We do not know how long these people have been 'meat-fasting'.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha

Signing off - nmn

Sad news

I received an email from a stranger today informing me that her 2 yr old nephew had just passed away. So I thought this must be one of the mass forwarded emails asking for donation and stuff like that.

Then I noticed that the email was specifically addressed to me alone, and from the email, apparently I had contributed some money to her sick nephew who was undergoing a heart operation back in 2009 after she chain and mass emailed a lot of people to ask for contribution for her nephew to undergo an operation. Apparently, the operation did not take place since they could not raise enough money for the ops and medical treatment,  and the health condition of her nephew was not fit for him to be operated. The condition deteriorated, he passed away 2 weeks ago.

My heart broke instantly. I have basically forgotten about this money I donated to him. Can't even remember how much I contributed. Completely forgot about this boy I donated to. But I am pretty sure I donated the money with the hope that he could do the operation and be well again. But I reckon god is better at doing his job, he wants it this way instead of the other. There could be a blessing in disguise behind all these.

I am glad I contributed the money - I know it was not much, but I am sure it was useful in some way or the other. I don't make much compared to those other people, and I don't earn top dollars either, but I hope I can do this more often.


Signing off - nmn

Civilised vs Primitive

When i came across this article published in one of the newspapers, I honestly thought that the news was a foreign news. I thought this happened in another country. Apparently not. 

Teen prostitute brings daughter to work

I am not sure what her real issues were for ending up a prostitute, so I will not prejudge. I am not interested in the details about her current profession and her sex addiction.

But there's something in the news which disgust me. Something which I feel is one of the worst invasion of human rights. In the news article, the 18-year old prostitute claimed that she was made to marry a man chosen by her family at the age of 14 years old. Seriously, isn't there a law which prohibits child marriage in this country? At the age of 14, a child is supposed to be at school and lead a happy life as children. Why are parents marrying their children at that age? Are we not civilised? I know there are countries which permit child marriage (and they are highly criticised by the United Nation) but why is Malaysia also practicing the same?

We are upset when other countries stupidly do not know where Malaysia is. We are angry when some ignorant white guy thought that we still live in the jungle. We boast to the world that we are such a developed country, better than this country, better than that country. But why are we still practicing someting so primitive? I personally feel that this is highly unacceptable.

Signing off - nmn

Right reasons; Wrong reasons.

Apparently more and more married couples are splitting up. Well at least that's what they claimed in this article that I read on Sunday. I must agree. Divorce is not something unusual anymore among our society. People divorce for various reasons. Whether or not the reasons make sense is not for us to judge. But the writer (of the article) pointed out one question - Are Malaysians getting married for the wrong reason? 


I'm not sure what reasons others have for getting married, but I marry my husband for a few reasons. 

• I enjoy being with him. He always has stories to tell. There has never been a quiet moment between us.
• We don't always share the same view but we could talk about it like adults, digest and debate about it. 
• I know I could get a 5 minutes bear hug every time I came back from a bad day.
• We speak the same language and come from similar family background so, I blend in pretty easily. 
• And most importantly, he has the financial standing which I feel could finance my lifestyle and provide me with the materials. 

So, are those reasons right, or wrong reasons? No one could tell, right?


Yeah I know LOVE is one thing, but I personally feel that love alone is not enough to consider a marriage. There are so many other factors to consider before agreeing to 'sign that death warrant' - according to some people. Hey, but that's ME. If there are people who marry solely due to LOVE, then fine by me. 


So, right reasons or not, who cares? People get married for all sort of reasons. Same goes to divorce. People divorce for 1001 reasons. I look at divorce as the last resort for one's happiness. No one would go through a divorce to be more unhappy than they already are - no matter what reasons they quote. 


So, back to the article. Why even bother questioning if people are getting married for the wrong reasons? Which will eventually lead to another question - So what are the wrong reasons? I don't know. Do you?


Signing off - nmn

What a quote would do - What a smile would bring

I came across a poster that a friend posted on Facebook. It's cute, it's catchy and most of all, it's TRUE.

We sometimes take things too seriously. Get ticked off easily. Complain about everything and anything under the sun but at the same time forgetting that there are zillion of people out there who are so  much less fortunate than us. By the time we cooled off, we realized that we missed out on so many beautiful things in life - good friends, loving families, birthdays, anniversaries and the list goes on. I reckon that's the deal with life.

So, Yes, just SMILE and TAKE IT EASY unless we are dealing with life & death situations.
Love and make ourselves loved while we are at it. Treasure every moment one at a time so we'll learn from every single bit of it.

To Azmin, thank you for sharing nice things with us on Facebook. You will never know, small gestures like that would put on a big smile on someone's face.

Signing off - nmn

The fun I had & The fun I ended

I am turning a year older tomorrow. Time flies and I didn't even notice it. Not sure if that's good or bad. But looking back at what I had gone through, I must say it was not too bad... in fact not bad at all. Having had my fun times in my teen 10 - 20 years ago.... it was crazy. Sometimes I wonder where I got those energy from.  It was fun reminiscing and remembering all the good times we had when we were young, and laugh about it.

Gone are the days when you had nothing to worry about and what mattered was just fun, friends and nothing else. Went out at 11pm, party-party-party, then when this club closed, you hit for another one that was still opened until 4am and party for a little bit more before reaching home at 5am. Slept until noon.

Those times I don't remember the club being a dangerous place to be at. Clubbers those days were only there to dance, smoke, booze and have some fun with their friends. Very little involvement of drugs or illegal activities - unlike today where these kids pop E la, they pop ICE la, and I don't know what other dangerous party drugs they popped into their system. Yeah we did some naughty stuff once in a while, but it was nothing that warranted jail terms or anything close to it.

Funny that we could just dance and laugh and dance and laugh for hours and not felt tired. And the great thing was, we never took our boyfriends with us when we went clubbing. We left them behind and  our clubbing sessions were only permitted for friends and strictly friends. It was just us, the BFFs (plus Midzi, who was specially tasked to drive us and take care of us the girls). And we took care of each other.

Well, 10 years had passed. I have not partied like that for so long. Close was live bands and karaoke sessions (and we had to catch our breath like every 5 seconds) and stuff like that, and I get sleepy after 1 hour. We have other priorities and family and kids to spend our time with now. Work takes up most of our time and more often than not, we end our day at 11 pm daily. Well, I guess that's the cycle of life. Every peak must have its low. Every fun must have its ending.

Unlike 10 years ago, fun is no longer the first item in my list. But I'm glad I had my fun when I was supposed to have my fun.

Signing off - nmn

A pleasant surprise - the sweetest thought

One thing I picked up from today's event is that, I might think that work sucks, and the whole world is going against me when things go wrong at work. But little that I remember that the office is where I am also surrounded  with a bunch of warm people who go through the challenging time together with me, support me when I need the help through crisis period, laugh and share common jokes and console one another through terrible times.

Maybe it s just a simple gesture of thought, but I truly appreciate it. I have had a few surprises but today was one of the sweetest ones. I don't normally cry. My husband once said that I have a heart as hard as a stone, but I cried today, because I felt loved - and the feeling's mutual.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It only makes the process of growing older sweeter and sweeter. Love always.

Signing off - nmn

A trip down memory lane by Arif

A former colleague dropped by to say Hi to us today. Left the department almost a year ago, landed a good job in Johor and he looks happy. I had not had the opportunity to work directly with him, but from his short stint in the department, he has always been remembered as a nice-cool guy. I remembered the time when we had his farewell, everyone that spoke about him that day had nothing but ONLY good stuff to say about him. It is nice to be remembered for  thegood things. He left a mark, and it was a good one.

Which brings me to another matter that I heard today. I am not sure if it was a good thing, or otherwise. But it is always good to listen, digest and as always, give the benefit of the doubt as we do not know what the real issues are. However, if there is a lesson to learn from there, it is this.

Sometimes, we thought that we are better than others. We criticize blindly, we smirk at other people's shortcomings, we laugh at silly mistakes other people make and we always think that we are GOD. But in the process, we completely forgot to think of what others might think of us - our mannerisms, the language and tone that we used, the impressions that we gave, the image that we portrayed. Are we as great as we thought we were?

Back to Arif. There are reasons why people remember him positively. Apart from being so down to earth despite being such a knowledgeable person, he is also very soft spoken. Never heard him boasting about himself and how great he is in this and that. Never heard him belittling others for not being great at his job. Never blew his top at his staff for mistakes that they accidentally made. Never heard him criticizing others openly for any reasons at all. Overall, he gave a great impression to other people, me included.

It is not easy to be Arif. Being a normal human being, we are full of imperfections and flaws. Probably, what we can try to do is to change our mindset and to always remember that the world  doesn't just revolve around us. They are also others who are as important in the eyes of GOD.

Signing off - nmn

A small deed that starts with a small tray

I have been wondering about this for a very long time, but keep on forgetting to think seriously about it.


How come Malaysians (myself included) do not clean our own trays at McDonald's?

Clearing trays after eating is a normal practice overseas and I am pretty sure that those who studied overseas know this. Here in Malaysia, we just leave our trash on the tray and the poor boy/ girl/ even makcik (I have seen a makcik as old as a grandma) has to pick it up and clean them for us.

I used to clean my own tray a few times, long long time ago, and it felt weird when you are the only one doing it and having other patrons staring at you like... 'what the hell are you doing? this is Malaysia" Sad but true, I stopped doing it after a few attempts. 

But why is it that we are not practicing it? What is so bad about picking up our own trays and clearing them? If you're the CEO of Maxis, you would still be one after doing it. If you're the MP of Rembau, you would still have your constituency after you do it. So, there is actually  nothing degrading about cleaning your own trays. It is simple, and the bins are everywhere. So basically it should not be a problem. 

With the inflation spiking and money is no longer easy to come by, we start seeing old ladies working at McDonald's doing cleaning tasks for maybe 5 bucks an hour? Well, that's the price we pay for living in the city. Yeah I know some of us might say, 'but she is not my mother'. Yes. True. But that is still someone's mother, isn't it? 

Think about it. Isn't it sad to see an old woman cleaning your own mess while you sit there and look pretty? Yes,  I know she gets paid for it and it's her job and she has to earn her bucks, but I reckon this is not about that. This is more of our willingness to do a small deed just to lessen a small burden of someone else. 

I started handling my own tray again maybe 3 months ago after seeing a young girl dropping a tray that she was carrying while doing her cleaning duty at McDonald's. She was probably doing it for the past 3 hours and I know she was tired. It was not a very nice sight to see, so I started doing my part. I know if I deal with my own tray, she would have 1 less tray to deal with for the day. Trust me, it's easy.

Signing off - nmn

English - an eye opener

There's an article that I read maybe a couple of weeks back writing on why job applicants are not offered the jobs they applied for. Of course, the topic on how our fresh grads are too selective, their attitude, their confidence level and a-must topic on how most applicants (fresh grads or not) cannot converse well in English was also discussed.

I can't comment much on the selective, attitude and confidence level bit as I do not know what their issues are for being the way they were. Well, it could be anything, maybe the job requires the person to drive and she/ he does not own a car. Maybe that person lives too far away. Maybe she/ he has to care for their small siblings at  night when the parents go off for their night shift job somewhere. I don't know.

But I am interested to comment on the fact that some... well maybe many fresh graduates and job applicants are said to be English-handicapped. And apparently, the writer was quoted saying that most under this category are Malays. I am a Malay, so every time something is said or written about my race, I must say that I got a bit jumpy. I have no idea where the writer got his stats from, but I'm guessing it is justified.

As a Malay, I have to admit that it is possibly true, that compared to other main races in this country, Malays are a little bit left behind in English. All the Prime Ministers when they were in power were trying to close this gap, but for some reason, it just didn't work too well. Dr. Mahathir introduced learning Math & Science in English, but for some unjustified 'political' reasons, it was dropped after several years. Well, i find that....UNWISE. When he was pushing us to take 1 step forward, after a few years, we were taking 2 steps backward.

Again, I am a Malay. I grew up speaking Malay mostly, though our family also converse in English since both my parents are English-educated professionals and so do my other family members. So, basically English is not too alien in our family. I went to a normal government school where Malay is like the lingua-franca. English was only taught maybe 3 hours (max) a week. So just like other Malays, our exposure to English is not great. Yeah I know, there are people who ONLY speak English. So, English is like their first language, so I am guessing that this issue does not apply to them.

But what I do not understand is that SOME Malays just refuse to acknowledge this fact. They refuse to even try to speak. They are too shy to make mistakes in English. They stay away from English conversations. They switch channels when English programs are playing. They don't read English materials. They practically turn a blind eyes on their disability to converse in English. Worse, some of them even snap at others who speak English, saying that these people are 'berlagak'.

It breaks my heart to know that my race is being criticized for not able to speak well in English, don't read enough, don't get paid enough, missed a  promotion, have low self confidence, cannot write proper memo in English, cannot draft a simple email in English, cannot get jobs in MNCs and even GLCs and the list just won't end.

But it is even more heartbreaking to know that some of us who are proficient in the language is not doing anything to help improve the level of our race's English proficiency. Worse, if we are only good at pointing, laughing and smirking at other people's flaws and mistakes than help correcting their mistakes. Just like the concept of giving and receiving, though receiving feels so damn good, but giving makes you a better person, and makes you have a better heart.

Signing off - nmn

Gifts & Flaws - They ain't all that bad

My dear husband.... well let me give some (selected) brief introduction about this man I marry. He is very very very opinionated. He can debate with me, or anyone about anything and everything that he feels strongly about. He has a lot of angst in him. He is super choosy about food (a total opposite of me), he is open minded, very westernized, has a mind of his own, hates my cooking (though he never really admits it, but he hardly eats it too), cannot stand the house being messy (so he drags me into doing spring cleaning every week) and loves criticizing the government (for all the reasons he can think of). In a nutshell, he can be quite a tenuk sometimes, but I love him. I love him to bits because we complement and compliment each other. Plus, he's a super dad to my son and he helps out with the house work and will never let me do things on my own. We are quite an opposite character - but for some crazy reasons, we could still sleep in one bed without killing one another. Ok that's not all I want to blog about. Lets continue from where I first started.

A few days ago, my husband confidently told me THIS during one of our normal conversations - How a wife takes care of her husband is by taking care of his tummy (as in what he eats/ from her cooking). I almost choked. I mean hearing that from my husband who is a strong believer of gender equality, not very Malay at heart and who is against infidelity (like yeah right), is like.... hearing it from another person. I was like... " Who the heck are you? Where is my husband? Why are you saying all this stuff that I never heard you said?"

But then it got me thinking? Is it true? I mean - is it true that cooking for your spouse plays an important role in marriage? I pack food from the office cafeteria almost everyday. I hardly cook. Even if I do, it tastes weird and amateurish.  I have been married more than 6 years and cooking is not one of those in my priority list because I'm not good at it, and I know that he knew this since we were courting. So I know for a fact that he did not marry me for my cooking skills.

I know some friends who cook for their family everyday. It's like their daily routine. And I know some friends whom their husbands expect to eat home-cooked food, so they go home after work, and cook. I reckon it is in a way a good practice. It's not that if you cook, it would make you less classy or less hip or anything like that. I think a career woman, who takes an effort to cook for dinner or lunch is extraordinary. And if what my husband was saying is indeed true, I guess the wives (who cook for their hubbies) are doing an excellent effort for the happiness of their marriage and family. I do not want to dwell on other possibilities and situations which may still arise even if the wives cook kambing panggang, or nasi bukhara or what ever. That would need to be under a different topic. But for me, whatever the wives do, either they cook, or they sew, or they clean or go to work for that matter, I am sure all that are meant for the happiness of their families. No doubt about that.

The person we marry have great gifts as well as great flaws... and we marry them for that. I marry my husband for the gifts that he has in him and I am accepting his flaws in the process. And I know he too is accepting me the same way I do about him.

Signing off - nmn

Is it really necessary to be rude? (Part 2)

I have been really really occupied this past few weeks. Just when I thought my weekend was starting, I suddenly had one long list of "To-Do" to be done during the weekend. Then came Monday when the ball started rolling again - this time with a different ball game, a different drama, a different roller-coaster . So it's a cycle. So, those are my excuses for not updating the blog. Not that I have lost interest, but my life has been pretty hectic lately. Plus, it's not that I have such a colorful life like a rock star or something where every step is to blog about. I am just a plain Jane remember?

A couple of postings before, I remember blogging about how UNCOOL it is to be RUDE. And the topic surfaced again today. Me and a few colleagues were talking about it (more like email-gossiping) about how rudely another person was behaving in a session with another group of colleagues. Well, as that was not the first time similar incident took place, so we were pretty ready for it. After all, this person's rude behavior  has already been the talk of the town. 

But the question is - WHY? Why is it that 'si polan' itu needs to behave in such a way? Can't a strong message be delivered in a more docile manner? Well these are some of the questions to be pondered which require your little attention:

1. Do you know that other people from your side thought that it was utterly uncool to see you treating those people like that? Not only that we feel sorry for those people, but we smirk negatively in our heart to see you clowning yourself like that. 
2. Do you know that your behavior reflects badly on your other team members (who are mostly bersopan & pemalu as how Mas put it) as well as your ORGANISATION?  
3. And do you know that people do not expect you to  behave like that since you are holding such a high position in this organisation? 
4. Do you know that you had successfully reflect yourself negatively, not just by those people that you were rude at, but also to your other colleagues?
5. Do you realise that your behavior will only make people wonder how your parents brought you up?
6. Lastly, do you even remember that you are dealing with another group of human being, who have feelings and do not appreciate to be humiliated in front of 10 other people? 
7. Does your thick brain (yang kononnya berpelajaran tinggi itu) ever thought about that? Where is your moral standing?
8. DO YOU LIKE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT? 

I only have one thing and one thing only to learn from all these. No matter how good and outstanding you are, how pretty you are and how "I-know-all" you are - you will not deserve the respect that you should deserve if your moral value is under your feet - and that include being disrespectful to another person/s. 

Signing off - nmn

How was your first day?

I guess everyone will face or had faced this at some point in their life. Be it the first day at school, the first day at your new job, first day entering uni etc. So, let's start again... how was your first day at your new job? As i mentioned in my first few entries, I have not worked at that many places, so I could only speak for 3 places. And my best first day was back during my first job at a merchant bank. I was fresh, enthusiastic, very driven. People at the office was warm, welcoming, friendly... so I felt welcome. I felt motivated.

That was 10 years ago. So it got me thinking.... did I welcome a newcomer like how I was welcomed on my first day back then? If people either naturally, voluntarily or maybe half-heartedly made me feel welcome, then why didn't I do the same? They deserve to be welcomed just like how I would like to be welcomed if I were to join a new place. It does not take too much trouble to actually be hospitable, courteous (as what Suz put it) and friendly just to make a person feel good about joining you and be your co-worker. After all, we will be seeing each other's face on a daily basis for god knows how long.

Being a human being, there are times when we act so selfishly, not knowing that it could leave a mark forever. The things that we did or did not do, will make a permanent impression that would be remembered for a long time. So why choose to be remembered for the wrong reasons when you can choose to be remembered positively?

Who knows, I too will be going through maybe one or two more first days. And the last thing I want is that my presence is not welcomed by the people in the new office. I don't think I will like that. Afterall, I always thought that " Dunia ni bulat, you will never know when you are going to be at the bottom end. And you will never know who you will bump into again".

Singing off - nmn

Sexual Harassment

Over dinner tonight, my husband told me that a person  he knows is facing a 2 weeks suspension period for sexual harassment allegation. He couldn't believe it as he claims that that person has no potential of doing such thing. That person, according to him is soft spoken, quite old, quite pious and basically does not look like those potentially capable of doing anything close to sexual harassment. No, no no. It cannot be true, according to my dear husband. 

I, being the person who only listened to this could only shake my head. What can I say, right? I am not too well versed about what sexual harassment really entails, so I didn't dare say much. My husband, being very opinionated will start a debate about this if I am not careful, just like always. 

So I googled sexual harassment, and I found some shocking  information on what constitutes sexual harassment. Very wide. Very specific. You will be surprised if you see the list. If I were a guy or even a lady, I shall be very very careful of what I say or do to the other opposite sex, because it could be a form of sexual harassment. Even hanging around a person or staring at another person can constitute sexual harassment. And check this out, calling a person 'babe' or 'doll'or 'hun' or 'sayang' also translate to sexual harassment. Darn it, I sometimes call my male friends 'babe'. Apparently, in Japan (according to a friend, Manabu), asking a female colleague to make coffee for you could also translate to sexual harassment. My god. I don't know this. 

But it is actually important for not only ladies, but also the guys to know about this. I know, in Malaysia sexual harassment is not widely publicised or widely spoken about as in the western countries, where according to my husband are widely reported. Maybe being Asians, anything related to sex, sexual or stuff like that are considered taboo and should not be made known to public.  But I personally feel that if someone feels that they are a victim of sexual harassment, they should come forward, to the correct channel of course so the situation can be assessed accordingly and noone is unfairly victimised. 

From now on, I need to be extra careful of my actions and of my words. You'll never know..... it could be considered 'unwelcome'. 

Signing off - nmn

Is it really necessary to be rude?

I am the type that always and try to give a person the benefit of the doubt before concluding or making judgement on a person about anything. I always feel that before we know what the real issues are, that whoever needs to be given a break.

But for some reason, being rude is out of the list. When a person is rude, I can't think of any reason to give the person that benefit of that doubt. What is it to be doubted about when you are rude to another person? What reasons do you have to be rude? None actually.

I encountered an ugly situation at a fast food restaurant when a considerably young couple shouted and threw foul languages at the poor counter guy. He used words like bodoh, tak tau guna otak, that four letter word and stuff like that. I find that very rude. I find that uncivilised and it achieved nothing but only self-downgrade to your own self. Please tell me, what could be so bad and what could be so wrong that you need to use those words just because that person didn't give the drumsticks that you ordered or gave you one coleslaw instead of two. And did it give you some kind of self satisfaction after you said all those words to the poor guy? I don't think so.

I encountered many hateful postings and nasty personal remarks on facebook which sounded so rude just because they are angry, just because someone pissed them off, just because their favorite football team lost that night, just because the government didn't allow street protest and so on and so forth. The question is, are those rude remarks really necessary? Apart from your friends (that you yourself added) knowing that you are actually a rude person (even if your profile picture doesn't translate that about you), you are just opening the opportunity for people to judge your upbringing.

So please tell me, is it fair for your parents that people (or maybe strangers) are questioning your upbringing just because you decided to be rude.

Signing off - nmn

Divorcee and the stigma by our society

I just read somewhere that Chef Wan's son is getting hitch. But that is not what I want to blog about. Apparently, his son is getting married to someone who was married before, a divorcee. But I like the way Chef Wan (the father of the groom) commented on the issue. He said other people has no right to judge his son's girlfriend just because she had a failed marriage before. He is more interested in her inner beauty rather than her divorcee status and that his son's happiness is what matters most. Not all fathers or parents are as open minded as Chef Wan.

Our society, in general (not all of course) has a  stigma about divorcee. They jump when they know that their kids are marrying one. It is as if being a divorcee you need to change the color of your IC or something like that, because you are now in a different group of people - the people who experienced failure in  marriage. When there is a marriage wreck, and the third person happens to be a divorcee, some people are going to harp on the fact that the person causing the marriage trouble is that divorcee. I personally feel that is unfair. I personally feel that judging a divorcee without knowing what the real issues are.... is mean, unacceptable, shallow, unwise and judgmental.

I come from a divorced family. My parents divorced and that automatically made my mother a divorcee. Some of my aunts are divorced. Some of my friends are divorced after less than 10 years of marriage. They too are divorcee. They just happened to have failed marriages, that's all. Marriages could fail, under extreme circumstances. I know no one wants a marriage failure, but it could fail. Just accept that possibility.

So, what is it about being a divorcee to have a stigma about? What is it about being a divorcee to even question about? Unless we are insecure. Are we? I'm not. Because I know if one day my marriage fails, I will be one too. No exception.

Signing off - nmn

Giving is the way to go

Alhamdulillah. The month of Syawal ended 2 days ago. Yesterday marked the beginning of Zulkaedah in the Muslim calender. Time flies. First was the beginning of Ramadhan, then the Raya began, now it is another month.

My Raya was so-so. I am never really big on Raya. Except for one or two, maybe three open houses, a few visiting, the rests are mostly nothing. Well, it does not make me less of a Malay if I decided not to Raya like mad, right.

But my Ramadhan was fun. Apart from being able to fast 25 days (of of 29 days), the berbuka puasa event we had with anak yatim was somewhat memorable. Not to be sympathetic, but seeing them (as orphans at a very young age) somehow made me realize that not everyone in this world is as fortunate as some of us are. We complain about not having enough money, not getting the promotion that we want, not driving a better car, not been buying new Gucci handbag for more than a year, not this, not that.... but we sometimes forget that there are people out there who are wishing and praying for something more, something more meaningful.... they wish they still have their parents. Well, the kids looked happy to see us there, but I know deep inside it breaks their heart to see us with our parents, and our kids with us.

I felt good to be the one who's giving rather than being at the receiving end. Being a normal human being, I love receiving. Gifts, money, praises, goods and the list won't end. But I personally feel that giving is what makes you a better person, makes you have a better heart and makes you change a situation. And giving, does not necessarily be in monetary. It could comes in many other forms. I just need to find it.

I pray that Allah continues granting me with this rezeki, with this good health, with this happiness, because with all that I pray that I could continue giving.

I need to stop here though there're a lot more that I want to blog about. But it is already 6.30 am. I need to  get ready to go to work + get my boy ready to go to kindi. Until then, Assalamualaikum. I hope the people that I know, the people that I love will have a great day.

Oh yes, one of the bosses in my office is buying us breakfast today. To Peer, thank you. Semoga Allah murahkan rezeki and grant happiness in your life dunia and akhirat. I know a lot of people are wishing you for the same thing.

Signing off - nmn

Another farewell.... and counting?

Another friend is leaving the department. Though not a close friend, but good enough to remember. Doesn't talk much, but very much liked. I will definitely miss his 'selamba' joke and will definitely miss his fun-loving character.

Naturally, someone would feel sad if their colleague is leaving, but this time around, everyone seems happy for him. In fact, people envy him for leaving. It is as if, leaving the department is victorious.

To Lim, I wish you all the best in your new job. Everyone is happy that you get what you wanted. I know a lot of people will miss your presence. I know I will too.

p/s: The number of farewells that I helped organise this year is unexpected. This is not healthy.

Signing off - nmn

I Still Have a Job

I have not been in the job market for too long. Including my current job, I have only worked at 3 places. I enjoyed the last 2, and am still enjoying this one.

But past few months, hasn't been too good. My morale has been low, people are exhausted, frustrated... and for the very first time since I joined this place more than 2 years ago, people (including myself) are thinking and even talking about leaving , openly. Honestly, I am tired of this negativity that is going around this place. All these anger is killing me. I too... want a new job. I need some new air... fresh air.

An ex-colleague, when listening to us mumbling about how bad the situation is at work.... bluntly said that we should be greatful that we still have a job. Which I always forgot to do. That kind of hit me in the head and got me thinking, that yes, I still have a job. Why the hell am I complaining about how bad my day went at work, how underpaid I am, how the world is going against me, when there are thousands of people out there still struggling to find a job that could feed their family of 4 or 5 or 6 even!

Shame on me. And I must say, that my obsession with this whole job perfection has, to a certain extent made me a little selfish. More often than not, a little thought about others will help us realise how lucky we are.

Well, I still need new air. But until the day comes, I shall just hang on, and be greatful that I have this job.

Sign off - nmn

My Very First Blog - My First Blogging Experience - My Very First Posting

I have read countless blogs,  have commented on many, enjoyed reading other people's blogs and even followed some (prominent) people's blogs. Never have i ever imagined to have my own. But I guess work-life balance went a little off-balanced past few months, and I was... in fact still am feeling stressed out about a lot of things, so i decided to start my own blog. It's like a 'dear diary' kind of feeling where I can just express everything - my happiness, my frustrations, my opinions, my feelings about whatever....

Honestly, i have no clue of how long I will stay blogging......but what I know now is, writing a blog isn't such a difficult task. Till we meet again in my next posting. It's almost 12 am and I need to get myself some sleep to be at work by 8 plus tomorrow.

Good Night & Assalamualaikum